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amazingdeath
My name is Claire and i'm 17 years old. i enjoy writing fanfiction, playing my guitar, and listening to music. I am a little bit of a freak, but we're all weirdos so it kind of balances it out! I go to a private school, that has taught me three things - 1. PERVETEDNESS IS OK!!!
2. keep your friends close and your enemies closer
3. your accepted no matter what.
I am in love with many men, including- Elijah Wood, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Gary Oldman, Christian Bale and Ville Valo.
My favorite band is HIM. i enjoy going to concerts and i'm a little bit of a concert junkie...i'll go to any concert!!!
EWFN
HIM Community
Faves
We Are Cheerleaders, We Are Bitches
The Holiday Bytes
That’s What Love Can Do
Teen Years; High School Suicide
The Line Between Fantasy and Reality
Unforgivable Past
Breakaway
Mine
Songs of Life
All These Ghosts
Reneeka’s Christmas Gift
Hogwarts: A History, Vol. 1
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Credit for all graphics go to _scarlett_icons
Credit for coding goes to phoenixdragon06 & _scarlett_icons
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| Bored! |
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Apr 25, 2006 3:19 a] |
Well, my boyfriend Kevin is deffinetly coming back. And i'm confused! I dont know what to feel, cause i kind of want to be single this summer...no scratch that i really want to be single this summer. and i'm afraid of what i'm going to start feeling towards kevin if we start to get closer, which i know we will. Who knows. Life is uncertain..right? Well yeah, i'm just sitting here in this classroom, supposed to be working on the yearbook, which is due at the end of this week but i'm not. i've been working for 2 hours already and in that time i printed out only 6 pages and finished 2 pages out of 21 pages.
Oh well. Well yeah, my friend has just told me that he feels more than a friend to me. and that just down right pisses me off.
cause we had this thing at the beginning of the year when he told me that he loved me as a lover and not as a friend and i made this horrible decision that i would give it a try with him and i ended up breaking his heart.
and he hated me after that, and then he told me that he was over me and well obviously not!! Cause he's telling me that Kevin and i shouldn't be together and shit like that and its just damn well pissing me off.
Why can't boys and girls just be friends?
Is it because we have these raging hormones and they get in the way from time to time...like this time?
What the hell do i do?
Well i got to go
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| Boys, Love, Feelings |
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Apr 23, 2006 12:29 a] |
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Beautiful- James Blunt |
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Well, heres the situation.
I've just started going out with this guy named Kevin, i started going out with him April 7. We've been friends since like October, and apparently he's liked me since then. He's sort of a criminal. He's been suspended from school like 4 or 5 times. And recently a whole bunch of people (all my friends and all his friends) got suspended and some even expelled. Kevin and i talked for 3 and 1/2 hours about the possibilty of him leaving, and then we just ended up talking about life...things i hadnt ever told anyone. He told me things i never knew about him.
Then the next day was teh day his parents came and picked him up to go back home for the easter break.
I gave him my email before he left and all week long he hasnt emailed me. And then i was talking with my friend and his ex roommate and he was telling me that Kevin might not come back...when Kevin the day he left told me he was coming back for good. So i dont know who to believe. I dont know Kevins email address, and i just got his phone number but noones picking up,
Now i'm like missing him, worrying about him and wondering if he's coming back.
Just stressed beyond being stressed.
my heart feels likes its getting ripped to shreds and then being sewn back together slowly
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[
Mar 21, 2006 5:23 p] |
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The Chieftens |
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So we got the news the other day that my mother got into this graduate program at the local university to get her Masters then PhD in HIstory and she just got a letter that she didn't get the fundings that she needed to go. FUCK!!!
Now everything is messed up, if i wasn't going to this school (that i absolutley LOVE) then she could go to this thing thats shes' been wanting to go into since my sister and i were born.
And also my parents are thinking if she doesnt get into this program, or if she cant. then we might move to England, which would be amazing but i dont know if i want to leave all my friends, all my great friends, the great school that i've finally found. I want to graduate with all my friends at this school...OH WHAT DO I DO???
Well yeah, theres other things going on but i'm too lazy to write about them
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Mar 13, 2006 7:37 p] |
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So i think i completely embarrased myself last night with this guy that i like.
Ok, so i've been going through a little bit of a dilemma recently, i just broke up with my boyfriend, well its not just just but like a few weeks ago. And i've started hanging out with my friend again, and i've started to like him again. And anywhoo last night we were hanging out and i was flirting, like any girl would. but subtly, and anyways today at school his friends started bugging me that i was all over him and stuff, which i wasn't. But now i just dont want to even flirt with him.
I want to go out with him, we have all the same interests and he's just a really nice guy but i'm not sure if he wants to go out with me.So i dont know what to do and i feel really embarrased.
Ack!!!
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| My new found writers block.. |
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Mar 9, 2006 9:58 p] |
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I have this story that i'm supposed to be updating on fanfiction.net. And for some reason nothing is coming to me. No words are coming out of my brain onto the page or computer page infront of me. I hate it. I really want to post a new chapter, i have a few pages waiting for me to post it. But i cant...god writers block sucks ass!!! I need help with my writers block, cause when i get it i get it for like weeks or months. So hard to get anything completed
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| ARGH |
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Dec 30, 2005 6:20 p] |
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Luka- Suzanne Vega |
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wow i'm feeling extremely bored, when we leave home i'm like awake and i want to do things but when we're ohme i jsut sit around doing nothing
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| getting.....wine... |
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Dec 23, 2005 9:21 a] |
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so last night was the annual SOLSTICE party at some friends of the familys. totally had the most alchohol i've ever consumed...3 glasses of wine!!! and some of the best wine i've ever tasted!!1
well i got to go...CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
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| Christmas Banquet = FUN!!!! |
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Dec 20, 2005 10:28 p] |
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but loving it |
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Ave Verum Corpus -William Byrd |
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Yeah, so today i woke up and waited for my mommy to come and pick me up to go shopping in the city (we live in a small town about an hour away from a city), so at 9:30 we went to the city.
My Sister (Julia), My Mom and i went christmas shopping. I had all these ideas in my head on what to get for who, but when i walked into a store...i went BLANK!!! I had absolutley no idea what to get anyone...especially my sister...i know she's told me like five gazzilion things to get her on a forty dollar budget but still i went blank.
I went to American Eagle (cause i secretly love that store) looking for a shirt to buy my friend (Note to self: never go in to AE looking to buy a 10 dollar shirt...doesnt work out!!), and i came out with a skirt for myself...from my mother, its part of my christmas gift!!! I just love it!!! Maybe i'll post pics on here, if i can, of what i was wearing to the banquet...i looked so punk, and everyones like extra dressed up and i'm just sitting there in a zip up sweater and this plaid skirt and black boots.
So anyways, i came out of shopping, hating all Christmas shopping, the day of christmas is cool.opening gifts, watching people open the gifts you bought them and them just loving them!!! but i hate shopping, i hate the crowds (even when everyones supposed to be in school. there were like packs of teenagers there) and i hate not knowing what to get anyone and having 130 dollars in your jean pockets (i forgot to bring a purse).
So i came home early, i got my grandfather to drive me home, and he talked about the "good old days" while i laughed at the right places and answered at the others.
I love my grandpa so much, but latley you can tell he's been getting older, he weighs about 300 pounds and is the grumpiest old man i know, but i love him to BITS!!! we seem to have connected over the year i dropped out of school (grade nine) and i've sort of been his favorite from then on.
well back to the main part, i forgot my key, or at least i forgot to get my moms key, so there i was standing on my porch with nothing but the clothes on my back and a bag filled (sort of) with gifts.
So i went to my friends house and she lent me a shirt and a zip up sweater to wear with my skirt, and then we went to the dorms and we did our hair and makeup there and just relaxed until it was time to go and get seated for Christmas Banquet!
See every year my school has a formal dinner, where they (Spirit- which is a SRC school spirit committee) set ttables up and we have an amazing dinner, turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberrie sauce...everything....and so i saw my boyfriend there and WOW!!! he did his hair and eveyrthing. For those who dont know he's from China and he normally doenst look that much like he's from China and tonight he looked like really chinese!!! and amazingly SEXY!!!! *giggles*
So we ate dinner, took pictures (i used up a camera and a half(desposible)) and then made graham cookie houses (some ppl weent carolling) and my friends Jazzy, Leanne and I made a Sex Shop, complete with gummy bears giving anal to Gummy Dinosaurs while the Gummy Dinosaur is giving oral to another Gummy Dinosaur, and then above this there was a massive orgy of Gummy Bears, my fave was the gummy bear on top of the whole orgy...he looked like he was getting a lot of action!!!
And then ice skating- So my day was pretty tiring, and now i'm just POOPED!!! but i dont want to go to bed...but i'm going too..
Good night all
Love you all
Claire
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| Yo You mother f*ckers!!! |
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Dec 19, 2005 7:56 p] |
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Hey everyone, so i'm in this like weird mood. for some bizarre reason i'm listening to Ashlee Simpson, and i have the urge to play the guitar along with her horrible and yet intising music!!
I I feel sort of weird, i dont really know why. i get like this sometimes, where i feel like just going "F*CK EVERYONE!!!! lets go party!!!" which is what i feel like doing.
Yeah there you go, a look into the bizarre world of Claire, the freaky girl.
Well i dont really know why i write into this bizarre crazy thing, that gets us to put our feelings and moods into a little box so other people WONT read it!!!
Thats why i made my subject the wa it is!!!
Well tomorrow christmas shopping, i'm skipping school and service projects to do this...i know i have turned into my worst fear, a selfish person who buys stuff instead of helping the needy!!!
well there you go, i think i'm going to stop writing, cause i dont really feel like writing.
Well like the dear Ashlee Simpson says
"DONT FEEL SORRY FOR ME!!!!"
Adios mothers
Claire
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| hello |
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Dec 17, 2005 3:56 p] |
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smile like you mean it- the killers |
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hello fellow journal people.
so today has been a little blah.
i woke up at 1 but thinking it was 2:30 because of my stupid alarm clock that cant tell the correct time.
so i woke up at one, which i hate because i hate knowing that my whole day has gone to waste because of some sleep.
i work up to my mother yelling at me.
and right now my parents are yelling at me because i wont get up and help them clean the house...well we're always fucking cleaning the house so theres no point in me doing it.
well i will write more then this...next time...probably tomorrow.
love to you all
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amazingdeath's journal
